Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and accurately see what I was thinking at a moment in time. Right now I can only try to remember and hope that I am remembering accurately. I would love to know what my thoughts were like a year ago- before I started eating clean and exercising. I know I had moments of really bad negative self talk and I know I had low self esteem. I’m not totally sure how much these negative feelings about myself crept into my mind.
What I do know, is right now I am pretty happy with myself. I actually like myself a lot right now- I might even say that I love myself :). I feel confident and strong and pretty. My friend Sarah shared this photo on her Facebook page the other day. It got me really thinking. I started to wonder if life is easier if you are comfortable in your own skin? I think it is. My life is riddled with new challenges right now but even with all these new adversity I am facing- life seems easier. I feel confident and I expect people to like and respect me. Last year, I don’t think life was as easy. I was riddled with self doubt, I hated what I looked like and I spent a lot of energy putting myself down. I probably didn’t believe it if someone liked and respected me since I didn’t really like myself or respect myself- why would I believe someone else did?
So here I was- feeling pretty good about myself and the work I’ve done on my body. I went shopping last week and bought some skinny jeans in a pretty small size. I could even get my wedding rings off for the first time in like 3 years! My body image was on a super high… so I took a selfie: Me and Boyd went for a lovely walk in the woods. But then I did THE STUPIDEST THING EVER!!!! I got on a scale and weighed myself. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. I know better. I even blogged about how important it is NOT TO WEIGH yourself like a month ago- https://ichoosehappyblog.com/2014/08/20/eleven-year-old-pants/
So the number kinda sucked. Then I did something even dumber. I typed in my height and weight into a BMI calculator. Hey guess what? The calculator told me that I’m overweight. Yes overweight. My brain knows I’m not overweight. This picture tells me I’m not overweight. (do you like my new front door? Keeping it real- construction zone is my life lol)
I could feel my body image deflate. I could feel the self doubt creep into my brain. I even started wondering if those skinny jeans I bought last week even fit or looked good? Crazy thoughts. I’m going to plead innocent on this one- this one is all the scale’s fault! And BMI’s fault!
Luckily for me- I was in a really good place with my body image before the whole scale incident. I was able to give myself a good shake and move on. I rocked out some wickid bicep curls and held a perfectly straight plank on gliders and reminded myself that its about being in great shape, being happy and not about some stupid numbers that don’t really mean anything. So basically just take this away: DON’T WEIGH YOURSELF. The end.
Well not the end. Not yet. I have a recipe for you 🙂 It’s call World’s Best Chicken lol! We had it for dinner- not sure if it is the best chicken I’ve ever had but it is super easy and pretty tasty. This is what you will need:
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1/2 cup Dijon mustard
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
Salt & pepper
You can follow the directions at http://rachelschultz.com/2012/07/11/worlds-best-chicken/
Now I will leave you with my all time favourite old time movie star (other than Vivian Leigh). Audrey Hepburn was not only beautiful but she was pretty smart too.
Be smart and stay away from that scale.
Choose happy 🙂